It has changed my life. I thought divorce was hard. But this is so much more of a trial than that. We can link it to my emergency back surgery and the steroid shots after. But I first got them in pregnancy. The most awful ones I ever had. Then when I drove into sun. Because of my astigmatisms. But after the back surgery it just went down. My prof told me I probably would not work. I spent my medical assisting classes in the dark part of class rubbing oils on my head. Or crying silently As I took tests. I had to be pulled from the pool. From migraine vertigo. Did a flip turn and couldn’t find the top. Just blacked out. It got worse. And worse. And I did Botox. We tried an internship. But a storm came. And the migraine with it. They saw me walking funny. Just nauseous and dizzy. Flushed. Talking funny. And after three days had me replaced. That was 4 years ago. I can’t finish until I can prove I don’t get the auras or the constant migraine. So I just really can’t much. But I’m always researching. I try to understand why and how I need to use this trial. I know I accepted it. And that it must have been important for me to learn things through this way I might not have learned other ways. My other senses get heightened. I feel so much more. Pain yes. But also lessons. That just open up. These lessons that come that I have to write. Or teach my kids. There is refining in this life. Not how we expect. But if we look. Sometimes it’s in the mundane. Or the pain. 🌺

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