I prayed. Wanting to know if I was enough. Enough in trying. What should I do if I couldn’t do the things I thought I should do. Overcome by comparing myself to prettier, skinnier, more ambitious women. I felt I had lost so much in giving to my children. In giving to my parents. My community. And it came so quietly I wasn’t sure it was even an answer. “Just have faith and endure.” I asked the Sisters when they came. Yes. They always text me at these moments of what in my life and I know my angels nudge them. They shared scriptures that hit me in a way that made sense to me. Ones I had read so many times. But at this time, my heart and mind understood it in a new way.

This morning I prayed again. Asking if that was the answer. So simple ? And so clearly it came to me. ” Follow the Holy Ghost, that Spirit that I have given you, and you shall inherit the world. ” I have been so anxious about the what ifs if I can’t work. If I’m totally alone. If my kids need help and I don’t have the means. But it just keeps going through my mind. And I felt impressed I must write it. In a quiet place to not lose it. So I am. I have been putting faith in action. And realizing that this is my waiting time in the time of trials. When spiritual traction is built. I learned that in a Mormon channel message. That traction we need to push through things. Like hay in the back of a pickup we put when it was icy. You need that traction or you’ll slip on those sneaky places you can’t see of black ice. I can’t know my future. I think now I’m building the traction to be strong for it. Maybe that’s what this waiting time is for. To keep becoming and learning. To not stop because of the trials. But reign them in and find the strengths they can bring me.

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