Can you send me that person curled up in the head ? I didn’t get to screenshot it. It is so. Powerful. I absolutely love these words and pictures. They speak to me so much it gets to my core. Because I’ve been in them. It makes me want to cry. But I heard in Call the Midwife this saying when they went to South Africa. When a mother lost two babies and Barbara explained why they say, “I’m sorry,” the mother’s reply was a shift. A shift I want to have. She said those things are in the past. This baby is my future. This is joy. So it reminds me of you. The Brightside. Things in the past we learn from. But we look to the future. Hold to today. And have joy in the now. Whatever simple things they are. ✨

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The Smiths! Jenny was my YW leader! They came to CA again and visited us. It was so much fun to reconnect. How weird that we are only 6 years apart ?!

I’ll look. Thank you. You absolutely help me believe that my talents matter. No matter how small. It’s huge. You and Natalie have been major uplifters. Mentors. Encouragers. No matter what. And I’m just a little person with no business or anything. But I have ideas. I have things I want to do. And I know writing will be part of it. Thank you. I was the student who stayed late with my teachers, professors, and asked the stuff outside the book. I wanted to know more. That part of my life was my identity. Teaching others. Helping. Others who were unsure. Being the one to let others practice putting needles in and taking blood from for the most scared students. But I’d talk them through. And I always had chocolate ✨. I did until my prof. said my veins would be too scarred. But that was my passion. In grad school. In Samoa. In medical assisting school. Learning. And then teaching. Building others up. I just need to do that in another space 💜

When I look out and see the clouds build over the Pacific in a friend’s Instagram story or the green mountains in front of my own home, It takes me back to Apia Samoa. But the clouds there exploded! So, so big I actually felt scared that they would fall over and consume me. They were the biggest, out of the ground, all the way to heaven, massive cumulus clouds I’ve ever seen in my life ! The ever changing ocean. Rain you cloud hear as a stampede before it got to you. The dark would come toward us. The thunder and the road in front of our apartment by the temple would rush with water. It was rain from the sky that could not be called rain. It was so much more. Sheets. Walls. It did put fear in me. But also this excitement. It was such an awesome power. And so beautiful with the golds and pinks playing off the clouds that followed as the sun wore through. I felt so small. And I realized how big this world is. And how insignificant so much of the stuff we put our time and worry into is. And it changed me. I never felt worldly. But this place showed me we are all on one field. Kindness has no language barrier. Nor fear. Nor laughter, nor the human experience. We all want to be loved. We want to be known. Seen. Heard. No matter what our circumstances.